Updated: Feb 15
The test was positive. Now you’re wondering how to tell your parents you’re pregnant.
Your head is flooded with questions and concerns about what to do next. As difficult as your unplanned pregnancy might seem, just know that you can handle this, and you don’t have to go through it alone. At Options for Women we are here to help you. Pause, take a deep breath and read our tips on how to tell your parents.
Make a Plan
This situation is unfamiliar and stressful. So, it is okay if you do not have every detail figured out. At the same time, try to prepare at least part of your plan for how you will be handling this pregnancy. Your parents will notice you have spent time thinking about what you will do. Having a plan ready is an indication that you are handling the situation maturely. If you need help making a plan, we can help you. We have helped many women in your situation, so we can offer you our knowledge and skills to provide you with guidance and helpful resources
Choose the Right Timing
Try to find a time when when your parents are relaxed and together. This will have two benefits. First, since they are at ease, they will be in the best mindset to receive the news calmly. Second, since they are together, you will only have to have the conversation one time. Also remember to find a time that is right for you. Pick a day when you are rested, take a few breaths, and begin with, “Do you have time to talk? I have something to tell you.”
Remain Calm and Focus on the Facts
Calmness is key in this situation. However, some stress and anxiety are probably unavoidable, especially if your parents have strong opinions about pregnancy or did not know you were sexually active. That’s okay. Just remember to do your best and prepare the facts you will need to answer the questions they will likely ask you, including:
– Who is the father?
– Will he take care of the baby?
– How far along are you?
– Who else have you told?
– What are you going to do?
– Have you thought about single parenting?
– Have you thought about abortion?
– Have you thought about adoption?
Even though you are the one who is pregnant, you are not the only one impacted by the pregnancy. The conversation with your parents will go much more smoothly if you remind yourself to listen and understand. Just as you want to be heard, they will, too. As you listen, it will show them you also truly care about their feelings and concerns. If you show your parents grace, it may help them respond in a better way.
Remember that Your Parents Love You
Even if your parents initially respond with anger or disappointment, keep in mind that they care about you. They are simply surprised, just as you likely felt when you first discovered you were pregnant. If they shout or say something hurtful, do your best to not get angry in response. Even if they take a while to warm up to the pregnancy, they still love you and want what is best for you.
What if your parents are not supportive?
You might come from a home where your parents do not live together. Or, your parents are very upset about your unplanned pregnancy and are struggling to accept your news. They may make you feel pressured into decisions and choices that you do not want to make. If you have a trusted adult you can talk with, go to them and share your situation. Talk through your plan with them. If you need additional support, contact Options for Women Chisago County. We have trained and caring professionals who will walk through your situation with you. Contact us to set up an appointment.